Soaking Up The World

Consistency Equals Less Work

2012-02-13T05:53:00.001-08:00

So I have gotten back into doing pushups. At one point about a year ago I could do over 30 pushups in a row. I had to work up to that point and it took about a month or so. A couple weeks ago, 5 pushups were quite hard, now I can do 6 or so sets of 10 per day no problem and am trying to work up to 100 pushups in a day, not a row.

I go through periods of off and on when it comes to fitness. My eating is consistently...horrible, but my exercise is on and off. At one point I worked on nothing but Olympic lifts (squats, dead lift, clean and press, etc.). I got my clean up to 185 pounds, and my dead lift up to 330 pounds. Now I have lost a lot of that.

I will get busy, or I will have a week where I am sick, and then I will get out of a good habit. I am an avid cyclist in that I love riding my bike. I have done a couple long charity rides. One of them was 25 miles and the other 31 miles (50km). That is probably the most physically demanding thing I have ever done. I really was riding my bike 3-4 times a week to prepare for that. Now I ride like 1 time a week because it is cold out...and I have been watching a lot of tv.

Basically the point of this post is to say that if you do something, even in small amounts, you will be able to maintain fitness/health/skill, instead of having to start over from scratch. As my profile says, I am very ADD. I have a hard time d0ing anything for more than a few minutes. That is why I gravitate towards things like power lifting, hitting the punching bag, doing sprints for 5-10 minutes on my bike trainer several times a day, and lifting my dumbbells every hour when I walk by them. These are the types of things that keep me from being 300 pounds instead of the 250 or so I am now.

I am not into new year's resolutions because I will probably forget about it by January 2nd anyways. I AM into lifestyle improvements. I have been trying to eat a lot more fruits and vegetables, less fast/processed food, and getting to a point where I feel physically capable of everyday exertions like moving furniture, going up and down stairs, and running to the car when it is raining. Currently, a couple of those are difficult.

My wife gets frustrated with me from time to time. I am big into reading, and specifically reading self-help type books. Boundaries, 7 habits, Paleo diet, and the China Study are on my recent reads list. To be honest, I am good at knowing, and bad at applying principles to my life. I have an instant gratification mindset that is quite powerful. I drive by Wendy's and I want to order an Asiago Ranch club, a Half pound double with cheese, and a large Natural Lemonade. That is like 1400 calories for 1 meal. I have eaten that several times.

My average calorie intake is around 3000. I track everything I eat on Spark People during the week. Lately, I have had more days where my calories are under 2500 calories, which is my recommended intake if I am going to exercise that day and want to lose weight. I am trying to get to where my average is around 2200 and more days are good than bad. I tend to do well on days where I eat one thing at a time (a breakfast sandwich, a couple bananas, a naked juice, 1 pb and j, etc) for around 300 calories, several times throughout the day. I don't mind eating small if I know I can have something again soon. Three meals a day doesn't work well for me.

What does this have to do with the title of the article? If I would just eat SLIGHTLY less, every day, I wouldn't have to starve myself to make up for a ridiculously high calorie day. I could eat 2200 calories, every day, and lose weight. Also, if I consistently lose even 1 pound of fat a week, in 52 weeks, I will be down to 200 pounds. That is crazy! I could already be in the 100s if I just lost 1 pound a week, starting a year ago. Instead, each month I will lose 5 pounds, then gain 3. Then I will lose 6 more, and then I will gain 3.

That makes it harder to make any progress. If I was consistent, I wouldn't have to work so hard to get to my goal. I could ride my bike every other day for 30 minutes, spread out through the day, at hard 5 minute intervals, and I would be in better shape then I ever have in my life. I could do dead lifts every other day for 10 minutes, and possible hit 400 pounds in a month and keep going. I could eat fruits and vegetables and low amounts of processed, fried, and meat-based products and be down 4-8 pounds by the end of the month and keep going. I could read for an hour a day and finish all the books on my "to read" list by summer.

That sounds a lot easier than trying to go crazy with something a couple days here and there and then getting frustrated that I am making zero progress. One of the ways to achieve this, for me, is to limit my Netflix watching each day. If I watch an hour of tv, go read, go ride, or go lift for a while. Do pushups every five minutes while watching. Go grab an apple.

In conclusion, even if you are doing the minimum to maintain progress, that is still better than doing nothing and you should not feel discouraged. Just keep doing something to work towards your goal, or your goal will keep getting farther away.

Salvatore L. Licari

2011-12-07T12:21:00.000-08:00

Last month I learned that the greatest man I have ever known has passed away. He passed away in November and I didn't get to go to his funeral. I Googled my grandparents names and, to my utter disbelief, found his obituary.

Here it is.

Without getting into the details, I have not been talking with my parents these past few years. Therefore, no one told me that he died. I didn't get to be there to say goodbye, I didn't get to be there for my grandmother. This is not a post about me, however, but about my grandfather. So I end the story of how I found out.

My grandfather, Salvatore L. Licari, is the man I looked up to most in my life. He worked hard his entire life, treated people with kindness and respect, enjoyed himself to the fullest, and loved those around him like no other. His obituary sums up how I remember him. Gentleman is the perfect word. I don't think there is anyone that my grandfather couldn't walk up to, take there hand, and start a conversation with. He treated his wife with so much respect and care it was like something out of an old romance movie.

I recall getting picked up on Fridays during the summer when I was a kid. My grandparents would take us to their lake camp houses for the weekend and cook out with us, and take us fishing, and give us quarters to go to the arcade. We would spend nights by the fire pit listening to our grandfather tell stories and eat watermelon. My brothers and I would run around the camp site and play and ride our bikes. To this day, when hunting in the woods, riding my bike long distance, fishing, and hiking, I think about those days when we would go to the cabin and see my grandparents.

My grandfather was the kind of man that when he walked into a room, you knew that everyone respected him, not because he thought he was better than everyone, but because of the way he treated them.

I remember the way he would get into a conversation about something and would get passionate and his big mustache would follow along with his emotions. When he gave a big old smile or curled his lips up in disbelief. I remember always feeling incredibly loved when I would go visit and he would give me a big kiss on the cheek and a hug and feeling like no matter what I did, no matter where I went, I could never disappoint him.

My family moved 12 hours south when I was ten so I didn't get to see him as much after that. I had the privilege of golfing with my grandfather on a few occasions. Like he did with everything else, he didn't mess around. Oh, he had fun and laughed and would mutter about a bad shot, but when it came your turn to hit, you had better get up there, align yourself, and swing. He would always say things to the effect of: "I don't see a camera crew following you around, do you think you are playing for the PGA". Or he would say "Hey Phil (Phil Mckelson), are you almost ready?"

On a few of the last times we all went golfing together, the big joke was: "You can't complain about that!" One of us would get upset about a bad shot or a bad hole and he would take note of the fact that we were not at work and we were not 6 feet under so what was there to complain about? So from then on one of us would slice the ball or hit it in the bunker and immediately everyone would say "You can't complain about that!" and we would all laugh.

That is the other part that I remember about grandpa. Yes he was serious about everything he did, but only to the point of trying to do his best. He wasn't serious in the sense that there was no fun to be had. Quite the opposite. He had that attitude of the previous generations that if you weren't going to do something right, then don't do it at all. And so he did everything to his best ability and it showed. As the obituary says, he was a very successful businessman, had a very large family, and a long and happy marriage of over 60 years. 60 years! Salvatore Licari was a man to be looked up to. I have yet to meet a better role model.

For a couple of years, my grandma and grandpa came and stayed with my parents for a few weeks before it got too difficult for them to travel. I remember I had just gotten back from a ski trip with my youth group and my grandparents were at the house. My grandfather reached out and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek as he always did and then I bent over to hug my grandmother who I had passed in height at about the age of 10. We were sitting at the dinner table and having a Licari family dinner (everyone is discussing things and everyone is talking at the same time, pretty fun and hilarious sometimes). Grandpa was trying to make a point but whoever he was talking to at the time wouldn't agree with him. So my grandfather turns the chair around and says "what do I know? Nothing. Who cares? Nobody. I'd be better off talking to the wall. Hey wall, what do you think? oh yeah, good." It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Whenever I get into an argument about politics, religion, or should I pick apple juice or orange, I think of that day my grandfather did that and giggle to myself.

I haven't visited NY, where my extended family lives and where I was born, in quite a few years. I knew he was sick, but I kept putting it off. I called my grandmother once and she had the same kind voice and loving words as always. I could write here about how I waited too long to plan a trip up there and how I regret putting things off until it was too late, but I know what my grandfather would say. He would say never have a regret. Never "say if only", or "I should/could have. He never meant be perfect, he simply meant to live today a better person and let that stuff go. He would always scoff at the people who said High School is the best time of your life. "Hah," he would say, "I feel sorry for those folks. If High School was the best time of your life, what have you done since?"

I talked to my grandmother finally and told her I was sorry for missing the funeral and that I didn't know that he had died until after. She talked about how great her husband was and how she had been with him since she was 15. FIFTEEN! I could tell how much she adored him and how even in his last years and while facing the most adversity you could imagine, he was so brave and strong and was still loving life. I hope one day I can be that kind of husband to my wife or as good of a man as he was. Salvatore Licari will be greatly missed.

On Death

2011-10-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

************************WARNING*****************************

If you are prone to depression or suicidal thoughts, or you

are not very strong in your spiritual beliefs, please do not

continue reading. This can be quite depressing.

************************************************************

Some people think about death as this permanently future event. When someone we love dies, we mourn. THEY are dead. At some point in the past, I started thinking of it as a more real state of being, putting myself, mentally, in my point of death. This has been played out in many ways:

Laying in bed slowly drifting away into nothingness, my soul being pulled from it's shell.

Getting in an accident, a moment of panic and then being gone.

Going to sleep at night and never waking up.

Most people have pictured this, as I had, looking down at myself and seeing the body go limp, but have you ever imagined being inside the body while it died? This is the thought that keeps me up at night, my heart racing. Knowing that it is not some cliche (everyone dies at some point, make every moment count) or line from a hymnal.

I can liken it to diving to the bottom of a twelve foot pool with my eyes closed and feeling like I am not going to make it back to the surface before running out of oxygen. I WILL have to die at some point and there will be nothing I can do about it. Hopefully, I will live long enough to have the wisdom, faith, and peace to go gracefully. Hopefully my body will

not be sick, just old. One day though, I will have to give up this world, leave everything behind, and my body will waste away to nothing.

In the words of Achilles from the movie Troy:

"I'll tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple.

The gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment

might be our last. Everything is more beautiful BECAUSE we're doomed.

You will never be lovelier than you are now , and we will never be here again."

I am a Christian. I believe in an afterlife. I am also human. My mind cannot perceive another existence where my soul is not encased in this fleshy embodiement. I don't want this body to die because what if I am wrong and there is nothing else. What would it be like to not exist. If all of these moments taken for everything they are worth (as all the cliches encourage) just disintegrated along with my body. If all that I am is gone forever. That is a terrifying notion.

That thought process brings me to wanting to have never existed. I don't want to die. If I did die and there was no afterlife, I wouldn't know that I lived anyway. So why go through having to die. Similarly, if/when I have children, I know that they will have to also experience death. That is not a thought that brings joy to my mind. On the other hand, having lived and died, they will now get to live for eternity in Heaven with me, their Earthly father. That is a very joyous thought.

My mind similarly cannot perceive it's own nonexistence. How can this person in my head disappear?

I AM. I exist. Even while my body sleeps at night, my mind is working hard, dreaming, going on adventures, saving the world, enjoying the company of loved ones. So just because my brain is no longer alive, how can my mind and soul dissipate into nothing?

Another possibility that I can't grasp is atheism, or more specifically, the existence of all that is, without some force/entity/other realm behind it all.

Physics explains it like this:

The universe was a tiny ball of super dense matter. Due to forces acting upon it,

gravity, electromagnetism, nuclear force, etc., it slowly expanded (if slow is defined as

less than the speed of light). Due to laws of physics, the expansion is slowing and may

even begin to retract back in on itself and then at some point it will expand again. This

took billions of years to get from tiny to the size of the universe.

Who put the ball of matter there? Maybe me asking that is like a dog discovering his tail.

I can't comprehend it because I am irrelevant in the grand scheme of the universe. I don't

actually believe this to be so, but it is just a possibility that runs through my head.

Another quite depressing train of thought that hits me from time to time:

To use another theme from Troy, I could try to gain immortality (or a form of it) through making some grand contribution to the history of the human race. I could put my entire life effort into saving others, making the world better, getting my name in the history books forever.

A. if I no longer exist in any form, who cares? I won't know any better.

B. if the earth is going to eventually not exist, who cares? At some point it will not matter.

C. if I save a life, that person will still die at some point and so it will not have a lasting effect.

Here is another thing I contemplate at times. Shouldn't we make some effort to accumulate the knowledge of the planet and the several thousand years of the human race and put them somewhere outside of the Earth, just in case? Have you SEEN Knowing or ever read a single Physics book/the Bible? At some point, the Earth/ human race, will cease to exist. How will any other race know of our existence if we are ever wiped out and if we are the only planet

with life, eventually some other race my come along and they could possibly find remnants of our existance. What will we leave behind? Silly, right?

Another wierd thing to think of is TV shows, music, and games. In Heaven, there will be people, possibly animals, angels, and music, I think. Will there be electricity? When we die, will we be able to watch our favorite TV shows?

Will the music of Earth exist in Heaven, played by the ones who created it, or in some physical form? If not, then why be creative on Earth? It is like: OMG, I can't wait until the new Twilight movie comes out! Then I die. Will I ever see or here of that movie again? Then why bother worrying about it? I have spent countless hours watching TV shows and reading fiction novels. Yes, I get happiness from these things, but it is not lasting. This brings me to the theme of finding Heavenly treasures instead of dwelling in the flesh. I am not saying we should all live in communes and live off of the land or whatever, I am just ranting on and dumping my thoughts out into the Internet never to be heard from again.

I think that is where my problem lies. I dwell in the flesh, so to speak, too much. Earth this, and lifetime that.

I need to spend more time reading the Bible, going to church, seaking out spiritual things and growing companionship with those around me instead of thinking how I don't want to leave my body behind. I used to pray several times a day, go to church 3 times a week and be involved in church outings and programs. This has fallen by the wayside.

I spend every waking moment reading, watching tv, playing video games. That is probably the reason that when I finally DO lay down at night and quiet my mind, this rush of emotion and thoughts of the end of it all come up immediately. I should be taking more quiet time for reflection and thought.

I think I crowd my days because I don't want to think of it all, but there is no running from it. At some point I am going to have to face life head on and find some way of coping (healthily) with the matter of death and all of life's problems and joys. I don't really know how to end a post like this other than to say that I will try to live a healthy and joyful life, so that I can live long enough to have a better grasp on it than I do now. Hope I didn't depress anyone too deeply.

On Irrational Fear

2011-06-27T10:49:00.000-07:00

This morning, my dog Charlotte, a 130 pound beastly rottweiller, viciously tore across the yard and attacked one of the ladies who walks her dog (around 50 pound dog) in my neighborhood. At least that is what you would have thought happened. The lady ran behind her dog and started shouting: "good dog, go away" and waved her hands in the air. Her dog just stood there confused.

My dog is actually the 17 pound beagle pictured above. She saw the lady walking her dog and quietly walked over to her looking to say good morning. As the lady freaked out Charlotte slowed down even more and had a confused look on her face and didn't know what to do. She had no idea she was so scary, neither did the other dog who just stood there and waited for her to get closer.

Of course, Charlotte should have listened to me calling her and not bothered the lady (she technically never left the yard, she was on our side lot). But she just wanted to be friendly. After staring at the lady and being completely confused, she came back to me and waited at the back door to be let in. After I got in the house, pardon my french, I laughed my balls off. I literally laughed on and off about this for the next hour or so.

Poor little Charlotte, the most harmless dog in the world, scared the life out of this poor lady. I don't think this lady is, in general, terrified of dogs (she had one with her). I think it is the unknown that she was afraid of. Charlotte caught her off guard and all she saw was an animal coming after her. We have all found ourselves in similar situations in life. When I take the dogs out at night after watching a scary movie, I sometimes find myself seeing things in the shadows and hurrying for the door.

My name is Robert and I am afraid of the dark...

For such a big person (about 5'11", 250 pounds), I am afraid of many things. Mainly, I am afraid of being out of control. This lady was definitely feeling out of control and I think humans in general have a very fragile sense of security. We think we are in control until our car starts to hydroplane, or our computer crashes, or a dog comes running out of a yard. Some people see a spider and are paralyzed with fear. Personally, I don't like to be in high places without some sort of safety mechanism.

In the words of Sheldon Cooper: "A fear of heights is irrational, I am afraid of falling. (Climbs rock wall) Never mind I AM afraid of heights!"

Sure, some people are trained to not get caught off guard and fear the situation (military, law enforcement, ninjas...) but for most of us, fear is inevitable.

I think the key is to be aware of our surroundings and lose the tunnel vision. It is the same with most things in life. Some people see a layoff, others see an opportunity to go back to school or find a better job.

It is hard in this rushed modern lifestyle to calm down and take each moment as it comes. We barely have time to think of why we got up to go to work this morning. Going with the flow becomes habit and hours turn to weeks and so on. I would like to get to the end of the week and be able to say that I was in the moment and enjoyed this part of my life to its fullest. After all, we only have 100 years to live.

Outdoors: the Cure for A.D.D.

2010-11-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went hunting. Hunting doesn't seem like it would have anything to do with A.D.D., but it does. One thing I always notice while hunting, is that I am very focused. It is not an imposition for me to sit for hours on end in the hopes of spotting a deer in an open field or just taking in the nature around me and getting a lot of thinking done. Although I didn't take a deer that day, I did learn a lot about myself, as often happens while being outdoors away from all the distractions of life and modern conveniences. I believe that if some of my friends and family were to follow me on a hunt, they would see a completely different Robert. There is indeed hope for me after all.

For instance, most of my hunting is done while stalking. In order to stalk hunt, you can not just keep walking for miles on end without stopping. You have to walk a few feet and then stop and listen and take in your surroundings. Yesterday, I had to stalk hunt until I could reach a certain field, and then I would hold up on the edge of the field in the hopes that a deer would come out to feed. It is painstakingly slow, but if you lose focus for even a second, you could walk up too close to a deer without seeing it or make too much noise and spook it away before you have a chance to see it. In order to even travel a couple miles, it can take hours. So basically, I learned that I can focus on a task for more than five minutes without losing my train of thought.

After much sitting and not being near a convenient food source, I realized that I am not as hungry as it may seem sometimes. I am simply bored and lack concentration skills so I try to find something to do, which usually involves eating. I obsess over food, but when I have something that I am more passionate about, like hiking and hunting outdoors, I don't really think about eating as much. Another trait I rediscovered is that I do not mind hard work. I was fully outfitted in hunting bibs and a big coat carrying a ten pound rifle (doesn't sound like much, but hold it for 5 hours and we'll see what you think) and wearing heavy boots. I probably covered 4-6 miles after the day was over and I felt like I could just go for hours more. I really enjoyed all of the hiking.

Something else I learned is that it is fine to just sit still and be quiet for more than 5 seconds. I spent about 2 hours on the edge of a field just thinking and taking in the scenery and listening to the squirrels and birds and such. It was delightful. Other than the two duck hunters who walked out of the nearby swamp and chatted and laughed loudly as they walked back to their truck. Thanks...

I could go on for a while with this post, but then no one would continue to read. So I will end by saying that reading self help books is great, but sometimes getting away from it all and spending some time in nature is the best way to learn about yourself. I highly recommend everyone try it. It could do you a world of good.

4 Cars, 1 Bike

2010-10-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

Which one did I get to take to work that day? You guessed it: the BIKE!

I have 4 cars. The Land Rover Discovery is my wife's. The Saturn coupe is for me to learn stick on. The Toyota Yaris is for sale (wife got in a wreck, wife needed safer car, car didn't total, car has been on Craigslist for a long time, still have car), and the 1965 Chevy C-10 is our Project Car. Yes, for someone who loves the idea of minimalism and de-cluttering (maybe more on this later), this is a bit ridiculous.

So, I wake up on a glorious day in the fall and my wife is standing over me and says "honey, the Land Rover won't unlock, the key cylinder is seized up so I am going to take the Yaris to work today." Ok, I will see if I can get the truck started or unlock the Land Rover. The truck had some wiring issues so I was left in a quite precarious situation.

Our other good car, the Saturn, was in Asheville where I bought the truck. I was going to pick it up the following week.

So I went outside and tried to start the truck. The key turned and absolutely nothing happened. No click. No sputter. Nothing...Hmmmm.

Then I went over to the Land Rover and began to jiggle the key in the door (did I mention that this vehicle has 1 place on the entire car to use the key to get in? Also, more on fixing the Land Rover later...). It wouldn't budge at all. Hmmmm.

Where I work is about 4 and a half miles from where I live. At this point I am obviously going to be late but fortunately, I have nobody from work's number who could come pick me up. YAY!

But wait, there is a mountain bike in the garage. So, being the resourceful person that I am, I got the bike out, pumped up the tires (hadn't been used in a while), and took off for work. Did I mention that I am like 90 pounds overweight and sit at a desk all day?

Overall, the ride turned out well, I had to walk a hill or two, but it made me question why I am wasting gas and staying obese when I could drive my bike to work. Once the weather gets a little better, I am going to try to make an effort to use my bike to get to work more often. It should be interesting.

Let this be a lesson to you all, keeping extra of something just in case your main breaks, is not always a sure solution. In this case, having four vehicles did not prevent me from having to drive my bike to work. You can imagine how silly I felt once I got to work. I am definitely planning on downsizing our number of cars. Although in overall worth, they are all very low, it is still a headache keeping up with four cars, but it really makes it that much worse when you have to drive your bike past them on your way to work.

PS: For a much better written version of this story, see my impatient best friend's blog post about this (me), haha.

http://nathansword.blogspot.com/2010/11/why-would-someone-with-four-cars-walk.html

New Weight Set

2010-10-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have outgrown my weights. I was curling my 30 lb dumbbell 20 times in a row. I was deadlifting my entire 300 lb olympic set. So, I added to my weight set the other day. I found some cheap weights on craigslist that were about 1/4 to 1/2 the price of the local sporting goods store. Nice.

My new set allows me to move up from the 30 pound dumbbell that I was lifting about 20 times in a row without straining to be able to do a 40 in each hand 5 to 8 times. I can lift the 50 a couple times, but don't feel that I need to work on that one yet. Once I can lift the 40 pound bells about 15 to 20 times in a row, I will move to the 50 pound bell. Then I will do the same until I can lift the 60 pound bell several times. Then I will have to buy more bells...

My goal: become a beast. I want to just get really strong and put on some muscle while I try to sort out my eating behaviors. This will help me burn more calories throughout the day. I am not trying to be a body builder, I just want to be functionally strong. For the functional fitness crowd out there: no, I am not just doing curls and dead lifts. Curls, functionally speaking aren't all that functional. I am also doing kettle bells, squats, rows, push ups, jiu jitsu, muay thai, and working up to being able to do pull-ups (I am fat, so it is difficult to lift my girth with my puny arms, haha).

You will also notice the 45lb plates in the corner. At the time I had lifted my entire 300 lb set with the dead lift without much trouble. I ran out of plates. Now I can do 335 pounds as my max, but only because my hands can't carry any more weight. I hope to get up to twice my body weight soon (500 pounds if you are wondering).

My thought is that if I move back down to about 225 lbs and just keep lifting that until I can hold the weight with my hands through several lifts I will strengthen them slowly and gain endurance. Also, this will give me a good base strength for my back so I don't hurt something.

I will post some updates and maybe even some before and after pics if I am feeling bold...

What is the opposite of a Morman?

2010-09-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

A LESSman. HeHe.

All credit is due to my band geek and divinity school geek friend: Nathan. I know that "It ain't easy being Cheezy." Thank you Cheeseburger Eddie (The Longest Yard).

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Or HP On Screen VS the Books

2010-08-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Again.

How would I describe my opinion of this book? IT WAS EPIC! This is probably one of my favorite books of all time. This is one of the few books that I actually appreciate that it takes forever to read.

My journey through the Harry Potter series began by watching the first five movies as they came out. Two Christmases ago, I read the entire Twilight series over Christmas break. When my friend found out I loved to read, he bought me the Harry Potter series for my birthday in May 2009, right before the Half Blood Prince came out. He had read them and wanted to have someone else to discuss the series with and wanted to know what my take on them was compared to the recently finished Twilight series.

I read them all. In one month. They were so much better than the movies that it blew my mind. J.K. Rowling is incredible. The movies do not give justice to the world that she created in the seven books. She references things and mentions events that seem so trivial in the earlier books but then you find out in the later books that they are vital to the ever evolving relationship between Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort.

The final book in the series elicits feelings of nostalgia, laughter, tears, excitement, and many other emotions. It is the story of a boy becoming a man and accepting the responsibility that has been given to him, even if it means accepting loss through inaction and seeing through the initial pain of a decision in order to bring about peace and victory for the "good guys". It is by far the most mature book in the series.

I understand that Warner Brothers has a responsibility to take the books and make them accessible to everyone while making the movies and that it would take two movies per book almost to get all of the detail into the movies. However, some of the scenes (no spoilers in this post) that are left out would have been perfect for on-screen action. The directors and producers have a certain theme that they want to convey in the movie and if the events in the book do not fit what they want to portray while moving the story along, then it is excluded.

This makes me very anxious about the upcoming Deathly Hallows: Part 1 coming out in November. Some very important (in my opinion) events are left out of previous movies that will greatly affect some of the emotions and interactions between families and friends in the last two movies if they choose to bring all of the appropriate characters back into the film. Some characters that are pretty vital to the development of Harry were completely left out. I won't say anything specific, but in the Deathly Hallows, Dobby, the house elf, is one of Harry Potter's most beloved companions and has a profound impact on Harry. He is shown throughout the books, but some of his appearances and contributions in the story are transferred to other characters during the movie like Neville Longbottom. In book 4, Dobby gives Harry the gilly weed, not Neville. Yet, he is left out in all of the movies except for the Chamber of Secrets so far.

Also, details are left out like Ron getting the title of Prefect instead of Harry in book 6 I think. All of the main Gryffindor characters on the quidditch team in book 5 get kicked off and Ginny and Ron get put on the team instead which leads to them being on the team in book 6. This also leads to George and Fred Weasley quitting school at the end of book 5 to pursue their business endeavors. They are able to start their business because at the end of book 4, when Harry won the Tri-Wizard tournament, he gained 1000 galleons or something which he gave to them (but didn't tell their mother). This is somewhat important because in book 6, they own the shop that sells the love potions and the darkness dust that are seen in Half Blood Prince. S.P.E.W. which is Hermione's organization in Order of the Phoenix (maybe?) is vital to some of the events in book 7 because if Harry was not associated with many acts of humility in and respect to other magical beings, then he would not have been able to receive the cooperation of the people in the Deathly Hallows that he did.

Apperation and casting spells without the moving of the mouth was taught in the books, but was not shown in the movies. Those are important because Harry and Ron are not great at apperation but Hermione was brilliant which she shows in the last book. Also, Snape explains to the students how the skill level of someone who can curse, jinx, or charm without moving their lips is levels above someone who can't and will increase the speed and efficiency of dueling as well as allow one to escape a body binding curse. It basically would just show that the children are now witches and wizards who are a force to be reckoned with. I don't think the audience really gets that when they see Harry cowering (in the book he was body bound by Dumbledore and under an invisibility cloak) in the tower while Snape is staring down Dumbledore at the end of the Half Blood Prince.

Don't get me started on the Horcruxes and the back story that was left out about Voldemort in the Half Blood Prince. While reading the Deathly Hallows, I thought that since all of that was not in the 6th movie, that I was going to read about it in the 7th book (I had forgotten which book they explained it in). Not so. They just weren't able to fit it all into the movie.

OK, so in the 4000+ pages of the Harry Potter Series, J.K. Rowling creates a world that is complex, exciting, and magical. For 6 books, she builds up a story which you think is going to start being resolved immediately in book 7. Instead she brings in a whole new story line (in case you didn't guess, it is the Deathly Hallows...). Book 7 is incredible, and I know that the film is not going to disappoint.

If I had to choose 10 books to keep out of the hundred or so that I have, 7 of them would be the Harry Potter Series. This post is probably just a long rant and maybe incoherent, but I just wanted to get out some of the thought process that went through my head while reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

That's What She Said

2010-08-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

For those of you out there who are fans of "The Office", you have probably heard the phrase "that's what she said" (TWSS). If you are not fans of "The Office", you probably have heard the phrase as well. I am really bad about using lines from movies and shows in everyday conversation and this phrase is no exception. My best friend and I are constantly saying TWSS.

If you don't know the context, basically this can be used following any comment that could ever possibly have any hint at being a reference to something sexual. For instance:

Person 1: "Are you going to be able to go all day long?"

Person 2: "THAT's WHAT SHE SAID!"

Queue geeky laughter.

Well, the reason behind this blog post is that I have come to the realization that I work in a somewhat professional environment. When it is just us developers, sure, something like this would get a good laugh. However, I am constantly in meetings with people in much higher positions than me (Vice Chancellors, CIOs, heads of departments, etc.). I am so use to saying TWSS, that it is almost like sneezing at this point. It can barely be helped. I highly doubt that saying TWSS during the middle of a tense meeting would go over well. So, in the same manner as Michael Scott, I will do my best to drop TWSS from my vocabulary, or at least try to make a conscious effort to catch myself before saying it. I already know the exact words that will appear in my comment from a certain someone and I can't wait to respond. Haha, go ahead, you know you can't resist.

Input OutPut and Pursuing Passions

2010-07-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been taking in a lot of information. As some of you may have noticed, I have not really been doing a lot of output. When you have ADD tendencies like myself, I find it is beneficial and healthy to have an outlet at some point in order to not have your brain explode.

I have been soaking up a lot of blogs, books, tv shows, radio shows, podcasts and news. I have not been letting my brain relax by getting my thoughts out in a productive manner lately. At some point your brain will just burn out and be unable to function properly at taking in or processing information. I believe I have come to this point.

I would say "My goal for the next two weeks is to blog twice" or some similar notion but I feel like I could do the same thing for about ten areas in my day right now and this would just stress me out and make me have one more commitment that I may or may not meet. A recurring theme in a lot of the blogs and radio shows lately has been that we over commit ourselves in this day and age. I am trying to go through all of my hobbies/passions and see if I can find the top activities in my life and really put my all into them. To give you an idea of just how thin I am spread, here are some of the things I have been involved in lately:
1. Spend time with my wife
2. Finished reading Stephanie Meyers book The Host
3. Training in MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) separately for now but later altogether:
A. Brazillian Jiu Jitsu
B. Muay Thai
C. Wrestling
4. Going to the gym for Weight lifting and Cardio
5. Reading Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace
6. Trying to sell all of my extra stuff (including a car I have sold and another car I am trying to sell)
7. Learning Spanish via Rosetta Stone
8. Learn the guitar
9. Attending SOC (Summer Olympic Challenge) at work every Wednesday at lunch
10. Trying to drag myself to the computer to blog (took me over 3 months...)
11. Re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
12. Research accounting degrees and careers (find out what I want to do when I grow up and if I can make a comparable salary to what I make now).

And so on and so forth. It is really hard to figure out what I want to do at night because really after you drive home, even though it is only 15-20 minutes now, then make/go get dinner, eat, clean up, go to the gym for an hour, shower, watch some tv or go out with Anna, feed the dogs, take out the trash/do laundry/ mow the lawn... well you get the point. There is only so much time in the day. Also, with my bestest friends in the whole wide world living out of town, most weekends are spent out of town. So, a hard part is simply figuring out what I want to do each night, which usually ends up being sit down and read Harry Potter, watching a movie, with Anna, while playing with my dogs and listening to a podcast (queue Nathan laughing and Anna taking away book, ball, and iPod).

So, my goal is to find something fulfilling to do every night and live my life in a way that is satisfying and enriches me as a person and makes me better, whether it be a better husband, employee, athlete, Christian, etc.

This blog has helped me in at least one of those areas as I feel like all of these thoughts that have been running through my head for months are now let out and put in a somewhat organized format. Now, back to Google Reader, open iTunes, and pick up dumbbell. I only have so much time on my lunch break...

My Long Distance Relationship to Work and Wife

2010-04-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

When I first started dating my wife, we lived in the same town, went to the same school, and attended the same church. Eight months later, she went off to school at UNC Chapel Hill, about 2 hours away from where I lived. She came back most summers and vacations and I would go visit her on most weekends. However, it was a long distance relationship and it was very hard on the both of us.

Three years later, we got married. I moved to Chapel Hill and we got an apartment together. I still, however, had a job in my hometown of Greenville, 2 hours away. Every day I would get up at around 5 AM and drive to work. Then I would leave work and get home around 7 or eight, exhausted, and fall asleep on the couch. Believe me, I was not exactly a joy to be around.

Then Anna started her final year of Pharmacy school which is a year of monthly rotations in different locations. She was placed in the Greensboro region which is about 45 minutes West of Chapel Hill, further away from my job. At this point, we decided it was too expensive and too hard on me (falling asleep at the wheel is dangerous) to continue to drive this every night. I started to stay at my mother in law's house during the week and go home on the weekends, which basically put us back 5 years to when she left for school.

A couple of months later we found out that the house that we were renting was in a much more crime ridden part of town than we realized and needed to move somewhere else. I informed the landlord that I could not allow my wife to be alone in the house when I felt it was unsafe. So, we moved another 40 minutes West to Winston Salem. We found a beautiful house which was in (to me) the nicest part of town and, according to police reports, had an extremely low crime rate.

For the next 6 months or so I continued to live in the town where I worked during the week, and go back home on the weekends to be with my wife. Having a job out of town had two main negative affects on my life. One, it made me miss out on having a full relationship with my wife. Secondly, it made me resent my work for keeping me from my wife. This resentment led to my work getting worse and worse and eventually having a wake up call that put me back in line really quick.

I have learned a lot spiritually through this experience and believe that I have matured some through it all. I have found out that people view you in all different contexts. One of those contexts is how you treat people. I feel like this is one of my redeeming traits that helps me slide by in certain situations. For the most part, I think people like me. I have had one of my supervisors tell me this. He gave me some very good advice. He said something along the lines of, "Robert, I have had a couple kinds of workers under me before. There are those who are crazy good at their job, and those who are not so great. Regardless of which they were though, the people I enjoy working with are the ones who are respectful, willing to learn, and will listen to what they are told." I think I have those qualities, and I think that has helped me through some tough spots.

Another context that people look at you through is what you do. Your fruits if you will. Now here is an area where I have not excelled so much. I am not saying I am not a more than capable human being. I am actually and that is what I think bothers me so much.
I am fairly smart and retain knowledge quickly. I love to read and learn. However, I tend to not meet my potential. I ace all of my exams, but don't do the homework. I procrastinate or get distracted very-ooh look, a shiny object! Where was I?

I am hoping now that I have my life more organized, I will be able to build a stronger relationship with my wife, a productivity boost at work, and a more stable food intake with less eating out. I don't really have many excuses left, other than 2 or so years of bad habits. I will let you know how the progress goes.

Free at Last

2010-04-10T21:55:00.000-07:00

Last month I received a great opportunity. I had an interview scheduled at a certain prestigious University in the area. I went out and got some nice interview clothes and a new tie for the occasion. I read up on interviewing and went over my resume. I prepared for hours for this interview which, honestly, was a new step in my job hunting endeavors. I was invited back for follow up interviews which was very encouraging. I was hesitant to allow myself to believe that a dream that has been in the making for literally five years could come true. I was very fearful of being crushed if I failed in my pursuit of yet another opportunity.

Throughout the years, I have been looking for jobs out West to no avail. I had some pretty promising interviews and bites on my applications, but they kept seeming to fall through. A person can only take so many let downs...

There is a certain inner part of my being that believes that a man who doesn't provide for his family is only half of a man. This is not an outward view that I would place on another, but a personal struggle I feel in my core.

For example, when I was making plans for my wedding, Anna and I were trying to purchase a house. I had received my Associate's Degree the previous Semester and was now in a job making about 4 times what I made as a server. The bank would not give the loan to me because I had only been making the current income for a couple of months and I had a limited time on the contract that I was in.

That year, I was 21. I haven't cried since before I was 10 years old and my great grandfather died. One day, after it was official that we were just going to rent an apartment for the time being instead of buying a home, I literally broke down and cried because I felt like a failure. I was about to marry the woman of my dreams, leave my parents house to conquer the world, and I couldn't even provide a house for my wife. I was broken. Anna assured me that it didn't matter where we lived, as long as we were together, but I still had this feeling that came, seemingly, from out of no where. Since then, I have realized that it was a blessing that we didn't purchase a place simply for the sake of purchasing. We have since moved three times and the real estate market has dropped through the floor. Tell me if you think I would have been better off...

Now back to my job hunt and a great opportunity. I received a few promising emails during the next week that hinted that I was a strong candidate and, provided I passed a few screenings, might be offered the job. Well guess what?

I GOT THE JOB!!!!! After all these years of struggling and living only half a life, away from Anna, I finally have a job in town, about fifteen minutes from my house.

I have gone home on my lunch break several times and just stared at my living room and played with my two dogs, wondering how life changed so much. This may seem like a small thing, but going home on my lunch break and having all of my stuff in the same town as me is incredibly liberating. I come home everyday and am greeted by wet noses and a warm embrace from my wife. I even beat her home one day last week and had dinner ready when she walked through the door. I have to tell you, words cannot describe the feeling. After almost 6 years of being in a relationship with Anna, I can finally begin to spend time with her. I am finally living with her.

Now the only challenge will be to figure out how to keep her from getting sick of me. I have some very annoying habits and take up a lot of space. I think we will figure it out though. It has only been a couple of weeks, but I am very excited to spend every waking hour with the most important person I have in this world.

On the same subject, it is really funny the other things that change when you actually are in town every day and not having to live over three hours from your job.

1. I actually am awake from the time I get home to the time I need to go to sleep for the night (mostly)

2. I have energy to go to the store with or for my wife.

3. I get more enjoyment from my work because I don't have to neglect my wife to attend.

4. I love to do activities, yard work, housework, and go out of town on the weekends now.

5. I go to sleep on time because my wife is there to keep me on a non-ADD schedule.

6. I shower every day. Don't look at me like that. I worked in an old newspaper building with a bunch of IT workers who never saw daylight and barely ever saw anyone outside of the department. Also, I wasn't exercising, so, no sweat. :P

There will probably be more things to add to the list in the future. I am looking forward to learning them. Keep up your hope, put in some hard work, and things usually work out in the long run.

On an unrelated note, does anyone have a link to the serenity prayer? I may need to post it on Anna's desk...

My Battle With Weight

2010-02-22T10:49:00.000-08:00

To give you some perspective of my weight issues, I will go into my history with the scale. I have been trying to lose weight for a while and my weight has been slowly increasing. As a child, my family promoted "Live to eat, don't eat to live". This showed. My 3 brothers used to compete to see who could down the most slices of pizza, the biggest stack of pancakes, or the most wings. All but one of my brothers was very overweight during our childhood.

When I turned about 13, I weighed over 200 lbs. I got to the 9th grade and decided, I will not eat like this any more. I lost about 40 pounds in a few months by eating normal amounts of food. In 2002, while training for a week long hike, I weighed about 165 and had a six pack and a flat chest for the first time in my life. When I left high school in 2004, I weighed about 190 lbs. When I got married in 2007, I weighed about 220. Now (2010) I weigh 260.5 lbs (after losing weight this week). I believe that my weight issues have roots in my family life, my stress levels due to family conflicts, lack of sleep (from not shutting everything out and going to bed), and unwillingness to be honest about just how undisciplined I am in certain areas in my life. I am much happier now than I have been and have really started to get some focus back in my life. I have had a reality check from a recent doctors appointment which basically makes me realize just how serious my weight and my food habits are.

Hopefully I can make this a positive lifestyle change and get healthy for myself, my wife, and any children I may bring into this world.

I feel like I would need to weigh about 180 and my fat percentage would be about right. That gives you some perspective of just how overweight I am now at 260 lbs. I still have a ways to go, but at 2 lbs a week (safe weight loss goal), I could be 180 in 40 weeks (10 months -> Christmas time!). I am super excited about getting my life back in my hands and taking the fight to the scale. Tonight, I am just going to step on the treadmill and see where it takes me. Hopefully it will be 255 lbs this Sunday. Here's to the energy to live. The compassion to love. And the joy to laugh.

Weight Watchers

2010-02-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

For Valentine's Day, Anna (my wife) and I decided to not get any gifts, but to instead sign up for Weight Watchers. We figured this could be a fun thing to enjoy together and we could both push each other to lose some of the weight we put on over the last couple years of marriage. So far it has given us something to discuss every night (I don't see her much as I work out of town all week) and allows us to take a very active role towards our health. It is kind of funny because I get 40 points and Anna only gets 21. She is very jealous about this fact. However, she is tiny, so she doesn't need nearly as much food as I do.

Basically how the points work is that each food has a points value based on the number of calories, fat grams, and fiber content. The premise is that you can choose foods that are better for you and eat more, or you can choose to consume garbage and stay hungry. I have actually found myself to be able to eat less quantity of the filling, nutrient rich foods that are low points and still be full.

Week one was very interesting. I started off by eating my meal and then going in and seeing how many points I had used. This proved very quickly to be the wrong way to do this. A couple of days in I started to look up the foods I was considering eating at my next meal and seeing how I would come out at the end of the day. This quickly changed my perspective of food.

Another cool thing about WWers is that you can earn bonus points by exercising. The first week I didn't earn very many of these, but I plan on earning more this week. Basically, you perform activity for a given time and then type it into the calculator with an honest assessment of effort level (Low, Moderate, High) and it gives you a point value that you can use to get extra food, or just to track your activity.

Anna and I weighed ourselves Sunday and we are both down 3.5 lbs. Two thoughts come to mind. First, Anna is amazing and is showing me up. She weighs literally half what I do and she lost the exact amount of weight that I did. I didn't exercise last week and she did, so that probably helped. This week I am going to try to get in some walking and running everyday with at least a little strength training. Hopefully I can beat her next week. The second thought that comes to mind is: I can't believe I lost almost 4 lbs in 1 week. I am so pumped. This is exactly what I meant by getting instant results will push me forward with goals. Running was allowing me to see my time decrease for a mile, but I wasn't losing weight. I was still eating garbage. Now that my intake of food has been examined under a microscope, I can hopefully see much better weight loss results.

I am actually looking forward to working out my meals, tracking my activity and food, and facing the scale this Sunday and seeing 25X lbs for the first time in several months. Wish me luck.

On Fasting

2010-01-25T07:19:00.000-08:00

I received a book a while back called "Celebrate Your Disciplines" (CYB). My church was offering meetings about the many disciplines of Christianity and how they can add to our lives. One of the disciplines was fasting. I really enjoyed it and how it helped me to focus on my compulsive eating addiction. The book advocated starting off small and picking 1 day during the week and 1 meal out of the day and not eat during that time. It then went on to skipping two consecutive meals, and also went on to long-term fasts. I have no ambition to do week or mutli-week fasts. My life is not conducive to that habit. CYB mentioned special circumstances that would hinder or limit fasting, like diabetes. It also described what to eat before and after a fast.

While participating in this discipline, it was very empowering to know that I could meditate on my walk with God and not have to think about food 24/7. I am going to try this again. I believe that I should pick a day mid-week that I know I will not be on the road. I think I will go without dinner on Tuesday nights. After a few Tuesdays of going without dinner, I will try not eating lunch also.

Since I am a Christian, my focus will be on using fasting to increase my relationship with God, and to walk in the spirit during this time. I will also be trying to purge myself of my addiction to food that has been developed over a lifetime of hearing "Most people eat to live, Licaris (my family name) live to eat", being fed multiple servings at every meal, and competing with four brothers at every meal to see who can eat the most.
I recommend people looking up fasting online and researching the potentials it can have in your life, no matter what religion you are. Always be safe and listen to your body. Do not use this as a quick (and dangerous), weight loss method. My Tuesdays should be quite interesting for the next couple weeks as I adjust.

Life Without Spending

2010-01-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

I have been giving a lot of thought lately about my responsibilities in life, and my life goals. One of the things that I fail at is spending money on eating out, or food and beverage products in general. I would consider myself fairly frugal in other areas. There are many things that I enjoy doing or would enjoy having, but I just don't get them because I don't like having a lot of stuff. I prefer a more minimalist lifestyle.
A few of my goals consist of being healthier (IE: weight loss, less sugar in diet, less caffeine). Another goal is to eat less/no meat. Lastly, of those goals that coincide with eating out less, is becoming debt free. Recently, I finished the book "The Total Money Makeover", by Dave Ramsey. I have not really implemented much from the book yet. I have a habit of reading self help books and then not applying them. I guess there are just so many areas of my life that need work, I become overwhelmed.

Well, enough of that. As I posted previously, I want to start small with different goals, and also do 1 goal at a time. I believe that I am far enough into my exercise goal that I can start working on another goal. My next goal is to fix what I spend money on, which also means "fixing" what I eat, in more ways than one. One way is to correct what I eat. The other is to prepare what I eat.
If I were to guess how many calories I averaged a day, I would say over 3000. Some days it would be even closer to 4.

Last week my sister in law and I decided to eat vegetarian. I lost two pounds. Also, I didn't feel burdened with a load of food sitting in my stomach all day. It was great. It also kept me from eating out so much, as it is hard to eat veg at fast food.

So, my next goal in a few words is "spend no money on food/beverages for 1 entire day". This is easy, right? You buy groceries and then live off of those groceries. You do not know me very well. I have been known to plan out all of my lunches for a week, store my food in my office refrigerator, and then leave for lunch and go get a footlong sub at Subway or a latte from Starbucks. Every time, I swallow the last bit of food/beverage and think to myself, you're an idiot.

Yes, my name is Robert, and I am a food addict. I don't know what happens. I black out and wake up with crumbs on my shirt or coffee on my breath. Well, I am sick of it. There are a few very close people that I have in my life and I am going to be depending on them to keep me honest. They know who they are and I will be talking to them about being my accountability partners.

It is not fair to my wife for me to keep gaining weight and to be spending money that could be used other places. It is not fair to all of the people I could help with my income that need it more than I do. There is no reason for a person my age, who makes what I do (mediocre, but more than enough for my wife and I), to be in debt. There is also no reason for me, as a man with an able body, to not be in better shape than I am. It is called laziness, and lack of discipline.

So, my first day to not spend any money on food or beverages is going to be tomorrow. I am heading out of town tonight to go back to the city where I work. I will wake up in the morning and eat oatmeal which I store in my desk. For lunch I will eat veggie patties on a burger bun, which is also at work. For dinner, I will eat nothing, which I explain in my other post. Next week I will try for two days in a row. This includes no trips to the snack/soda machines, no Starbucks, no using any money, other than for gas. I hope to work up to a full week like this, but my driving over three hours 1 way to work sometimes leads me to have to pull over and get something to eat. An obvious alternative is to pack a sandwich or some fruit and some bottled water/tea. This goes back to that whole discipline thing. That is something I am working towards. Tomorrow will definitely require some focus. A challenge that I look forward to stomping. On Wednesday, I will be a better husband, friend, and person for it.

Positives of Little Progress

2010-01-09T16:00:00.000-08:00

One of the newest voices of inspiration in my life is Dave Ramsey. His area of expertise is personal finance. I highly recommend his podcast and his books. I am now beginning to see what he means when he says that small goals will help you gain traction so that you can eventually make your way towards the bigger goals. So far this is working for me in running. I have exercised every day this week and it has really helped my legs to keep up with the rest of my body on todays mile fast run.

My plan was for next week to run a mile in 13:59. This morning, I got up early because our best friend was coming into town for the day. I went out to the track at 7:30 AM. It felt like it was about 20 degrees outside. My body felt pretty good and I ate a granola bar for breakfast. I jogged my first half lap or so to get a feel for how the run would go. My first lap was about 3:45. This would have put me at about 15 minutes for the mile. My next couple laps made up for it and then I sprinted both of the straight stretches of the last lap. Finishing time: 13:45. I beat my next goal by 15 seconds. What made the difference was my calves. They burned, sure, but not the way they did before. I think in two weeks, the next thing I have to work on is getting some speed work in to get my lungs into shape. My shins are still too weak to keep up with the fast progress I have made far, so I will continue to work on them. I am going to set a new goal of 13:30 since this week was fairly difficult and I don't want to burn myself out.

My main goal is to eventually be able to jog a full four laps around the track without stopping, however slow. Once I can do that, I will work on getting under ten minutes. Right now, though, I just want to make small progress. It feels pretty good coming up on that last stretch, knowing that you have enough time that if you push yourself a little harder, you can achieve another goal.

My next post about this subject will either be when I meet my next goal, or if some other significant event happens. Good luck, and I hope you are making as little progress as I am.

1 mile goal down: under 15 mins

2010-01-02T08:07:00.000-08:00

While I am obviously no super hero, I feel great. I ran at least a mile 5 times this week. I missed two days which I intend not to do next week. Even with my slacking off, I managed to beat my goal of 15 minutes and get in 4 laps on a quarter mile track in 14:25. It is very empowering.

I am trying not to look on the downside and realize that most amateur marathoners run between 7 and 8 minute miles over the course of 26.2 miles. However, I doubt any of them weigh 265 pounds.

Also, I thought of a way to shave off a ton of time from my miles: run faster! I am obviously being facetious. Actually, the way for me to not have to walk so much is to strengthen my legs. Specifically my left calf stabilizer muscles. So far, my lungs have not really had the chance to get worn out. I can't run long enough. By the time I do a half lap on the track, my left leg is killing me. It burns while I run to the point that I think it might rip. My goal this week is to walk a lot and also do leg strengthening exercises. My regime will consist of calf raises, lunges, squats, and toe lifts for targeting the weak stabilizers on my shin. I will continue to do a mile a day.

My next goal will be to get 1 mile in under 14 minutes. I will set a goal for two weeks from today. If you are also trying to get healthy, keep motivated and set small achievable goals. Also, have tons of fun! I have been listening to great podcasts and watching tv while running. I am not really sacrificing anything, and I am actually enjoying my exercise time. Beats killing myself for a week and then quitting. Think about it.

A child and his toy

2009-12-31T20:05:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come and gone. I really enjoyed all of the time off from work and getting to actually see my wife for a few days. We opened presents in the morning, cooked (all her) 2 pumpkin pies, a roast, and some sweet potato casserole for dinner, which we proceeded to eat for several days. It was delicious. That night, we went to see Sherlock Holmes. It was awesome. What wasn't awesome was me losing my sister-in-law's credit card. Sorry Tiffany...

The main Christmas presents that I got my wife were a used Land Rover and a lens for her camera. I don't really count the Land Rover as a Christmas present as we are getting rid of one of the other cars to pay for it, but she insists that she has already gotten too much. She got me Madden 2009 for the Wii. Oh, and she got me a Ping Pong table. I was blown away. I can usually guess what I am getting from people because I am like a child and get way too excited about holidays. She has learned through the years of being with me and this year I was completely caught off guard. I LOVE ping pong!

My wife, Anna, her sister, Tiffany, and I spent a couple of hours putting the table together. Anna did most of the work because she is great at that kind of thing. She used the drill that I got for her last Christmas, if that tells you anything. Later, we played a few rounds. It was so fun. My wife starts pharmacy rotations again next week so I have been playing by myself. I am really enjoying my new toy. I could literally listen to podcasts and practice by myself for hours on the table. Anna has already had to come looking for me only to find that I am in the garage, playing by myself. I am not trying to go pro or anything, toys just make me happy. Reflecting on an image of me in the garage playing ping pong with an oh-so-serious look on my face makes me laugh to myself. Hope you enjoyed your time off as well, and that you, too, have a child-like enjoyment of the little things in life.

Fitness Goals: Running

2009-12-27T07:29:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to get into running for a while now. I will do run/walks several times a week for a few weeks and then stop due to scheduling problems and other life issues. I went to the doctor the other week for a yearly checkup and he told me that if I simply gave up sugary drinks and walked for 20 minutes a day, I could start to lose weight. He also said if I gave up fried/fast food, I could even lose 2 pounds a week. One of the other things that he told me, that I am now sharing with the world, is that my BMI is over 35. Being an experienced doctor, he told me not to implement too many of these changes at a time but to take it slow.

I feel like the easiest thing to start with is 20 minutes of exercise a day. That is half an episode of one of my favorite TV shows. Also, my mother-in-law has a treadmill which I can use while I watch TV. I understand that without a change of diet, my overall health will be quite hard to improve, but I am also a believer in the KISS method. Keep It Simple, Stupid (or Keep It Stupid Simple). So, after a couple of weeks of doing about a half hour on the treadmill, I have a basic understanding of my capabilities. Where I stand is right between pathetic and below average fitness.

The first of my aforementioned "little victory" goals will be to work up to be able to run/walk a mile in under 15 minutes. I will walk and jog every day for two weeks and then at the end of two weeks, I will attempt to travel 1 mile on the treadmill in 14:59. I know most of you took PE in high school. I think the passing time was around 12 minutes? So, yeah, I am miserably out of shape. Depending on how my test goes in two weeks, I will adjust my goal to a new time, probably shaving 30 seconds every two weeks or so. I will continue to post on this subject to let you all know of my progress. I intend to do fast days where I only run/walk 1 mile and then stop. I will alternate these days with long days where I mostly walk for 30 minutes with possibly 1 minute jogs mixed in.

I look forward to posting updates on my progress.

Little victories

2009-12-24T06:27:00.000-08:00

Hello all. Blogging has not gone as I expected. I wrote two blog posts and then have not written two words since. It seems this is how my life goes in many areas. Fitness goals, finance, nutrition, work, relationships, and more.
I have been reading a lot of personal finance, health/fitness, and personal development blogs lately and I think I know what the problem is. My goals are not realistic. I go about my daily life goals the way I look at most projects. I only have a final long term goal or action in sight. I have a really hard time stepping back and focusing on the next step or living in today. If I decide to lose weight, I say I want to lose 2 pounds a week until I lose 100 pounds ( this puts me at 165...). How do I get there? Doesn't matter. It never happens because I don't focus on little victories and set smaller goals on the way to my final destination. This fails because I will end up gaining weight or staying the same weight and never gain more motivation to keep going.
Well, I have several other goals that fit in with this. I won't go into detail with the rest of this because it doesn't matter and it isn't working. The key to accomplishing goals is not willpower or determination. These things are short term solutions. The keys are forming habits by replacing bad things with good things and also seeing little victories. Every time I look into goal setting and habit forming, I see similar advice. Stick to something for thirty days, daily, not 3-5 times a week, and you will have formed a habit. All you have to do is hang in there for thirty days and you will be way more likely to succeed. So, to keep this post short and organized, I will stay away from going into my little goals for each of my areas that need improvement and instead post about each of them individually. Look out for posts on fitness, nutrition, personal finance, spiritual discipline, and organization.
As a byproduct of this post, I have just had a little victory. Spirits are up and I see more posts in the future. Go out and win. Keep motivated and accomplish your goals.

Audiobooks

2009-11-17T20:40:00.000-08:00

I was reading 1984, by George Orwell, when I stumbled upon a set of books on CD at my mother-in-laws house. It contained Animal Farm and 1984. I immediately set out to import these CDs to my iTunes library so that I could have this book on hand at any moment (via my hot pink iPod). This has been my first real experience with Audio books, other than a couple of free samples I got off iTunes.
I really have enjoyed having 1984 as an Audiobook. Audio books allow me to be able to multitask, which fits my personality. I am able to progress through the book while I ride my bicycle, drive, or work. It is also useful to simply listen to the book while I read along. The only downside to reading along is that I get anxious because I can read much faster than the narrator is speaking. So overall, I think I am sold on the idea of Audiobooks. I might even start ordering an audio copy of some books along with a hard copy.

Thoughts on 1984

2009-11-17T19:20:00.000-08:00

I recently finished 1984, one of George Orwell's famous novels.

I now know why this book is still referenced so often over half a century since its publication. I am really into politics so this book tweaked my interest when I was trying to find some new books to buy (side note: along with this book, I purchased Audacity of Hope[great], Liberty and Tyranny[amazing], Change We Can Believe In [haven't read yet] ). My expecations were greatly exceeded.

I am not going to give a summary here because there are probably entire books written simply as an analysis of 1984. I will simply give my feelings about the book as I was reading it. The book is divided into 3 or 4 parts. The first part is a little unsettling because it essentially introduced you to a society without individuals.

The last hundred pages or so are when you really understand Orwell's nightmare. The protagonist is eventually discovered and is locked up. He is then subjected to what can only be described as an attempt to strip him of his free will and sanity. This part of the book made my stomache hurt, not because it was gruesome or brutal (it was) but because of the frustration he must have felt at his situation.

The book was quite hard to finish at this point. It was not boring. It was too real. I felt like someone was standing on my chest as I read, trying to put myself in Winston's (protagonist) position. At certain points he is holding logical arguments in his head before placing them with his accusers and is completely confounded. Even if he gives logical arguments, the interragator will simply say that none of what he is saying is true and cannot be true based on what the party has declared and what can be proven in written form or based on what someone else can bring to memory. Given that the Party has complete departments that are devoted to nothing other than changing every written record every time they declare statistics, have someone erased from history, or change who they are currently at war with (and therefore have always been at war with), it is impossible for you to prove that something existed at one point if it does not currently exist. Also, given that everyone only remembers what the Party says they remember, an individual will not have any person to confide in or use as a witness. The easiest way to describe the feeling of someone going against the party alone is helpless.

The book was amazing. Orwell did not hold back when writing this book. The outcome, in my opinion, was a masterpiece. Honestly, I don't see how anyone can read this book and not look over every single major issue today through a new perspective. I am not going to go into politics here other than to quote John Adams: "Liberty, once lost, is lost forever." In my opinion, Americans have more freedoms than any other country in the world. However, we should be thankful of this and make sure that we retain these freedoms.

I believe that what Orwell was trying to say is that we sometimes take that liberty for granted. We also don't put enough emphasis on just how horrible it would be to live in a country where you have to be afraid of your own Government. The thing about the people in this book is that they gave up their freedom willingly. The interragator even says that Winston is going to have to make the choice to will himself into "knowing" what the Party says is truth, no matter what (even that 2 + 2 = 5, but only when the Party says so).

Don't worry though, the book ends happily (those of you who have read it may be confused...).

The detail and elaboration that Orwell gives throughout the novel is mindblowing. I sometimes marvel at the special skill and imagination it takes to write a superb fiction. First you must have an interesting idea. That is a given. I would think the hardest part would be remembering how everything ties together with your storyline and the "facts" about each event and character that the story hinges upon.

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This gives me an idea about a possible future post describing the difference in approach between the Harry Potter series and the Twilight series. I have had many discussions with my best friend Nathan about this topic. It may be too long to make a good blog post though.

Thank you for reading. I apologize for the lack of an introduction-type post, but I figure if you want, you can just read my profile. :P